Big Fat Liar Read online

  "I'm pathetic," Callie said out loud. A man like Chris would never see her as a woman anyway, even if he had known that she was a girl.

  "Fat and pathetic," she mumbled and bowed her head, letting her tears roll down her chubby cheeks and fall and fall...and fall.

  Chapter One

  "So there I was," Chris said, standing directly in front of Callie, his handsome face flushed and animated. "There I was, completely butt naked while trying to climb out of Jessica's window."

  "No!" Callie cried with shocked outrage, eyes going round and sparkling with humor. "The window?"

  Chris nodded, a wide grin forming across his lips. "Yes, the window."

  Callie clapped her chubby hands together and laughed. "And then what happened?"

  "Ever tried to climb out of a window and down a tree?" He asked her, quirking a brow. "It's not easy. I can still feel the tree barks skidding on my ass."

  Callie laughed again. "Oh my god! I can't believe it. Did her father catch you?"

  Chris shook his head. "Uh huh. By the time he bust into her room, I was already jumping off the tree and running towards my car."

  "Butt naked?"

  Gorgeous face turning serious, Chris raised his left hand up and placed the right over his heart and said in a solemn voice: "As naked as the day I was born."

  Callie burst into a fit of laughter, her pudgy round body shaking with mirth on her tan living room couch as she pictured a butt naked Chris running for his life in the middle of the night in fear of a father's wrath.

  "Oh my god," she wheezed out, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I c-can't believe you! You're so outrageous!"

  Chris watched her laughing, the wide grin back on his face. "And that's what happened on my date with Jessica last night."

  Callie waved a hand at him, still laughing. "You're so wicked."

  Chris shrugged, taking her accusation as a compliment. "What? It's not like Jessica was underage. She's twenty! Her dad is just too overprotective. Good thing she had locked her door though or I would have been up-shit creek. Her dad looks like Hulk Hogan."

  Callie wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head at him. "Why do most of your dates end with some other guy chasing you?"

  "Hey," Chris pointed a finger at her, "you're talking about Megan right? The woman I went out with last week? Hell, I didn't know she was married! The woman lied to me."

  Callie rolled her eyes but the smile on her face wouldn't go away, the humorous image Chris painted for her of him climbing out a window naked still on her mind. Since they've become buddies, Chris would always come to her apartment to tell her his misadventures he called "dates." Her heart would always die a little inside whenever he told her his recent activities with other women but the tales he told would always leave her laughing.

  "Well I'm glad that you're okay," she told him, "or you'd probably be telling me this story in a hospital if you would have fallen off that tree and broke something."

  A look of comical horror formed on Chris' face. "Can you imagine what my gravestone would have said if I had fallen and broken my neck? 'Here Lies Chris Walker: Born Butt Naked, Died Butt Naked.'"

  Callie snorted as she tried to smother her laugher with her hands. "Chris! Shut up! You're such a goof-ball!"

  Chris wiggled his brows. "Admit it, you would have missed me if I had died."

  "I would have missed all the crazy stories you told," she countered. "Your life sounds so exciting. I'm kind of jealous."

  Chris frowned. "You would have an exciting life too if you stopped locking yourself in here all the time."

  Callie's smile died. "I'm fine."

  "Really?" Chris cocked his head to the side, a strand of dark blonde hair brushing against his forehead. "When was the last time you went out on a date?"

  Callie averted her eyes from his probing and curious gaze. "A while ago."

  "Uh huh," was his reply, clearly not believing her. "And how long was 'a while ago'?"

  "I don't see why it's any of your business," she muttered, still not meeting his eyes. "But I'll have you know that I used to be engaged."

  "Really?" Chris sounded so surprised that she had to look up and glare at him.

  "Yeah, really."

  "Huh." He looked at her thoughtfully for a few seconds before asking, "So what happened?"

  Callie sighed, wishing that she had kept her mouth shut about her engagement with Greg. Now she had to tell more lies and she'd already lied to him enough. "It didn't work out between us."

  "How come?"

  "It just didn't, Chris. Drop it. I don't want to talk about it."

  Chris looked sympathetically at her. "Did she cheat on you or something?"

  Callie shot up from the couch so fast that she would have clumsily toppled forward if Chris hadn't reached out and caught her upper arms to steady her. Gaining control of her balance, Callie shrugged his strong hands off her, stepping back to put some distance between them. Her poor heart was already racing at his unexpected touch.

  "No, there was no cheating involved," Callie said. "I broke the engagement. End of story."

  "Whoa," Chris raised his palms up in defense, "dude, calm down, I was just curious. You're always so closed up. You hardly talk about yourself. I was just surprised to hear that you were engaged."

  Callie shrugged. "I've told you that I don't get along with my family. That's why I moved away."

  "Yeah," Chris agreed, "but that's really all you've told me. Two months of trying to get to know you and I still don't know much about you."

  "I have a painful past," she said truthfully. "I don't really want to talk to a stranger about it."

  "Huh." Chris crossed his arms and damn if she didn't notice his muscles flexing from beneath his grey T-shirt. "So we're strangers now, are we?"

  Callie sighed. "Yes...no. I don't know. Chris...you're my friend." She lowered her eyes so that he wouldn't be able to see just how pathetic she thought her existence truly was. "My only friend."

  "Hey, Cal." Chris patted her shoulder, sensing his new friend's melancholy. "Sorry okay? If you want me to shut up and stop asking about your past, I'll shut up." When she glanced up, she found him smiling teasingly at her. "You know I'm a nosy jerk."

  Callie smiled, responding to his teasing. "You're not a jerk, Chris."

  Chris snorted. "Trust me, I'm a jerk." When the doorbell buzzed, he stepped around her and jogged towards the door. "Cool! Pizza's here! About time too, I'm starving."

  Callie followed his movement and thought sadly,: No, Chris, I'm the real jerk cause I've been lying to you all this time.

  It's already been two months since Chris had walked into her life, two months since she had opened her door to find this gorgeous stranger standing before her with nothing but a skimpy white towel on around his waist. He had asked to use her shower and she had let him in...and they've been friends ever since.

  And she's been lying to him ever since.

  Callie watched him pay for the pizza, grinning and laughing with Manuel. "Okay, thanks man," Chris was saying, taking the two boxes of large pizza from Manuel. He closed the door with a gentle kick and opened the top pizza box. "Mmmm," he closed his eyes and moaned with ecstasy, inhaling the aroma of the pepperoni and sausage pizza. Chris opened his eyes and wiggled his brows at her. "Smell that? That's the smell of food from the Gods."

  Callie couldn't help but laugh at his expression and words. Chris loved pizza as much as she did, probably even more. She always complained to him that he could eat a whole box to himself and not gain a pound yet if she ate as much as he did, she'd gain a gazillion.

  "Cal, buddy," he told her, already taking a slice of pizza out the box, "why don't you be a good pal and hand me a Budweiser from the fridge."

  "Let me guess," she joked, "that's a drink from the Gods?"

  "Hell yeah it is!"

  Callie laughed and walked in her kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Budweiser for Chris and a diet Pepsi for herself. When she walked out the kitchen,
she found him already sitting on her couch, his legs stretched out and feet propped on her glass table with the plasma T.V blasting. With a box of pizza on his stomach and a half eaten slice of pizza on the left hand and remote control on the right, Chris flipped through the channels, trying to find something to watch.

  Callie paused, taking in the sight of him in her home. He looked so relaxed and carefree, wearing a grey t-shirt that outlined his athletically masculine upper body paired off with dark blue basketball shorts. He was completely oblivious of her white lie. Okay, so maybe it was a big fat lie because all this time she'd let him believe that she was a...a he. Chris was relaxed around her all because he believed her to be a man. A fat man. And Callie had never corrected him.

  It's not like she hadn't planned to correct him. Two months ago, while he had been using her shower, she had been preparing a speech for him, preparing to let him know that he had made a mistake about her gender. But then he walked out her steamy shower with a goofy grin on his face and the speech had fled from her mind. Chris had been so nice, so approachable. Even though they had just met he had treated her like a buddy. A close friend.

  And as she had sat next to him on her couch, with him still wearing only the white towel while eating the pizza she had ordered, Callie realized how much she craved him. Craved this closeness he was giving her. So she didn't tell him. She didn't correct his mistake and continued to let him think that she was a guy.

  Two months later, her lie had already dug its way so deeply between them that she couldn't tell him the truth without losing him. And she was so afraid to lose him. To lose this goofy, charming and gorgeous man. And even though he treated her like a close guy friend, never seeing her as a woman, Callie didn't care. Being close to him was enough. Being his best friend was enough.

  At least that's what she'd been convincing herself this whole time.

  "Hey," Chris's voice snapped her out her thoughts. She looked up and found him looking back at her. "You gonna stand there or join me?" He grinned. "I don't mind though. I'll just eat all this pizza myself."

  "Pig," she shot at him but returned his friendly grin. When she took her place next to him, the couch dipped and she winced. Chris didn't comment, taking another slice of pizza from the box on his stomach.

  Grateful, Callie made herself comfortable beside him. She loved how nonchalant Chris was about her appearance and weight. She felt so comfortable around him. Even now, she was wearing grey sweat pants and a blue sweater and probably looked like crap but Chris didn't mind, didn't look at her with disgust like Greg probably would have.

  Smiling, She handed him his beer and when he lifted a brow at her diet Pepsi she glared at him. "What?"

  "Nothing," he chuckled and made a showing of taking a large bite of his pizza and raising his eyes heavenward in bliss.

  Callie laughed. "Shut up. I know that drinking a diet soda while eating a greasy food is contradictory but it makes me feel better."

  "Uh huh," Chris replied, chewing, "sure buddy, whatever you say."

  "Oh you!" Callie leaned towards him and grabbed the pizza from his hand. "Give me that!"

  "Hey!" Chris cried, "that's mine!"

  "Hah!" Callie took a huge bite of his pizza and chewed noisily at his face. "Mine now," she said between chews.

  Chris rolled his eyes with a snort, settling back on the couch and resumed flipping through the channels. Feeling like she won a battle, Callie happily finished off the pizza and grabbed another slice from the box on the table.

  "You know," Chris began casually, still flipping through the channels, "I set you up on a date."

  Callie was so surprised that she choked. Chris immediately dropped the remote and shoved the pizza box off him, patting her back furiously as she broke down into a fit of loud coughs.

  "Hey," he said with concern when her coughing died, "you okay?"

  Callie nodded, not trusting herself to talk but her mind screamed: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID HE JUST SAY!?

  Chris studied her red face and teary eyes and waited until her color returned to normal before relaxing. "Geez, Cal, you scared the shit out of me."

  Callie didn't reply. Instead she opened her soda and took a long drink. She watched him watching her, concern still on his face.

  "I'm fine," she told him, wiping her mouth with the back of a chubby hand. "I'm good. You just...surprised me." She set the soda back on the glass table.

  Satisfied that 'Cal' wasn't about to break down into another fit of coughing, Chris settled back on the couch. "Surprised about what? That I said I set you up on a date?"

  "Yeah. That."

  "I did, you know. I know plenty of women."

  "I bet," Callie muttered under her breath.

  "I heard that."

  Callie rolled her eyes. "I don't need to go out on a date."

  "I think you do."

  "I don't."

  "I know this chick," he told her, ignoring her glare. "Her name is Susan."

  "What?" Callie snapped, "is she another one of your girlfriends? Did you ask her to go on a pity date with me?"

  Chris frowned. "Cal-"

  "I don't need to go on a date," she hissed, cutting him off.

  "Susan isn't one of my girlfriends. She's a co-worker."

  "Oh." Callie sniffed, recalling that Chris worked in a veteran Hospital as physical therapist. "So?"

  "I think you two would get along."

  "I don't care. I don't want to go out on a date." Callie didn't show any emotion on her face but inside...inside she was freaking out.

  A date!? A date!? With another woman!? Oh yeah, that's a disaster waiting to happen.

  "Too late."

  Callie froze, wild eyes landing on him. "What did you say?"

  Chris grinned at her. "I said 'too late'."

  "Boy, you better be joking."

  "Nope." He shook his head. "You." He pointed at her. "And I." He pointed at himself. "Are going on a double date on Friday."

  Callie's jaw dropped. "WHAT!?"

  Chris nodded, completely unaffected by her outrage. Actually, he looked smug as he took a slice of pizza from the box beside him and bit down on it. He chewed, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "You heard me."

  "You're serious? You really set me up on a blind date!?" She had hoped that he was joking or that he hadn't really gone through with it yet.

  He nodded, taking another bite of his pizza. "Yup," he said gleefully, popping the P.

  Callie wanted to slap the smug grin from his gorgeous face. "Christopher! How could you!!?"

  "It was easy. I went up to Susan the other day and asked her if she wanted to go out on a date and she said yes."

  Callie's eyes narrowed, suddenly suspicious. "Did you tell her that it was a blind date...with me?"

  A flash of guilt crossed his face before he shrugged it off. "Maybe."

  "You didn't, did you?" Callie gaped at him. "Chris! That woman doesn't know that you set her up on a date with me! Not you!"

  "Cal, she won't mind. Susan's nice and-"Callie punched his arm with all her might. "Hey! stop that!" Chris rubbed his arm. "Damn, that hurt."

  "You deserve it, you jerk! How could you? That poor woman." Callie settle back down on the couch, mind racing. God! This was a disaster! How could he do this to her? A blind date? Worse! A blind date with a woman who didn't know she was going on a blind date with...with her.

  Callie's eyes went wide with horror. OH MY GOD! Chris had set her up on a date with another woman! She's a woman! Not that he knew that since he thinks that Callie-Cal- is a man. Callie groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Oh no."

  "Hey," she felt Chris patting her back, "don't get all worked up about it. It'll turn out fine."

  Callie moaned. "Chris, I can't go on this blind date."

  "Why not?"

  "Because...because it's not right. You tricked her." Not like I'm one to talk. I've been tricking you this whole time.

  "Too late," Chris said sternly. "You're coming."

>   "No."

  "Damn it, Cal! Why not? You need to live a little, man. I hate for you to waste away in this room, living off on your grandma's inheritance because you're too scared to step out into the outside world."

  Callie gaped at him. "I'm not afraid!"

  "Oh yeah?" Chris leaned forward until his serious eyes met hers. "Then why wont you go on this blind date then, huh?"

  "That's different!"

  "Coward."

  "I am not a coward!"

  "Uh huh. Sure, Cal, sure." Chris stood up. "Keep yourself locked in here but don't say I never tried to do you favor."

  "I never asked for you to set me up on a date!" Callie cried, staring up at him.

  Chris looked down grimly at her. "Cal, you're a nice guy. I like you. That's why I set you up on a date. It's not healthy to stay locked up in your apartment, buddy."

  Callie closed her eyes and bowed her head, completely torn. He was right of course. She had been locking herself up in her own apartment, too intimidated by the outside world where there was nothing but hurt for a girl like her. A fatty. She couldn't walk down the street without someone looking at her funny or making nasty remarks. Why had she thought that moving away from home would be different?

  "Cal?" The weight of Chris's hand settled on her shoulder. "Okay, I admit it, I should have been honest with Susan, that's my bad. I'll go and explain things to her but I don't think she'd mind. If she still wants to go on the blind date, will you go?"

  Callie shook her head, refusing to look at him.

  "Please?"

  "No."

  "Pretty please?"

  "No."

  "Pretty please with cherry on top?"

  Callie laughed despite herself. "No, Chris."

  "Cal, come on. Say yes. Let's go out on Friday and have fun. Let's build our own memories together, pal. I'm always telling you about my dates and I think it's about time we went together in one."